How to Accompany Children Facing Parental Divorce

Like parents who decide to divorce, children can also feel a variety of emotions during divorce. Starting from surprised, sad, angry, worried, to frustration. So, even though Mother and Father are tired physically and emotionally through the divorce process, it is very important to stay with the child through this time. The child's reaction to divorce can vary. The younger brother may seem more receptive, while the older brother may rebel. All depends on the personality, age, divorce process, and conditions that occur during the separation.

Minimizing the Negative Effects

Be aware of the possible negative effects of divorce on your child, but you and your father should not need to over-dramatize this situation. Indeed divorce is not an ideal thing, nor is it expected. But the study found, being at home with parents who are forced to be together and fight a lot, is also not something that helps the child's growth and development. In the long run, this can actually have an effect that may be worse than parental divorce. Watching parents no longer fight and separate properly, can make children learn to deal with their own problems, and feel more calm after a divorce. If they make it through this period well, children of divorced parents can actually become more flexible, tolerant, and better able to handle stress. For this reason, although separated, the role of parents is still important in building children's characteristics. Parents must show examples of good problem solving, and still pay attention to the needs of children.

Keep Nurturing Children Together

However difficult, but Mother and Father need to understand and agree that children still need the figure of both parents in care. Below are some steps that Mother and Father still need to take even after divorcing, namely:

• Listen to the expression of children's feelings

Mother or father needs to listen to the opinions and expressions of children's feelings seriously, so they feel their feelings are valued and important. Be a good listener, though maybe their feelings of expression also make you sad. Help the child realize that there is nothing wrong with his feelings. You can do this by responding to his attitude with words like, "Mother knows you are sad because Dad is not here. But right now Mother is here. Next time we arrange a time for you with Daddy, yeah. "

• No blame, offer help

It is natural for children to miss the presence of both parents and unity as a family. Don't blame if they hope you can be together again with their father. Offer help like, "What can we do to make you feel better?" Mother can help mention things like walking around, playing with a favorite doll, or calling Dad.

• Children need to get the right information according to reality

Mother and Father should not deny or hide divorce from children, especially if he can already understand what is happening. However, this information needs to be conveyed in the right situation. Mother and Father can say that there are times when parents disagree and decide to live separately, but the relationship between parent and child will not be broken at any time, and that both parents will still love their children.

• Don't be reluctant to apologize to the child

Whether we realize it or not, there must be words, actions, or situations that make children sad or angry so that they keep their distance from Mother. It's never too late to apologize to a child. You can explain your mistakes and that you never intended to make your child sad. Give them a sense of security with a commitment to change attitudes.

• Postpone the presence of a third party

If there is, you should delay involving a third party or a new Mother or Father partner to attend important child events, until the right time. Both biological parents should be present.

Make sure Mother and Father convey the certainty that this separation is not the fault of the child at all. This is a message that needs to be repeated repeatedly, so that children do not blame themselves. Even so, that does not mean Mother and Father then spoil her excessively. Keep giving reasonable limits and attention, as is the case with parents. However, children who are emotionally healthy and have good character, are supported by parents' upbringing from an early age. Divorce is a very mind-consuming process. In order to help the child, Mother and Father first need to help themselves to stay physically and emotionally healthy. If Mother and Father are confused about how to assist a child in receiving divorce, use the child psychology consultation service, at the nearest health service.